January 20th 2013
LOng distance. Relationships.
So I love blues, and I love blues people, which means pretty much the people I am most interested in dating are of the blues persuasion. This also means that the chances of them living in easy distance is, um, well, slim to non. So this means that dating commences over facebook chats and text messages and phone calls. Skype dates for when your feeling fancy, but those only happen when I go to the library, since my internet at home is too slow to produce anything more than just a few blurry pixels. Talk about a romantic conversation when the probability of it being overheard by the majority of my town, is so very high. Oh, baby, that's hot. Haha. But I have accepted this fact of my life, that while I live in rural Colorado it is unlikely that my boyfriend will do the same.
So can I just say, you are so lucky. Yes you, sitting at home, reading this and worrying about who's gonna take the dog out to pee in the middle of the night. Again.
You get to cuddle, and spend time together, and go out to dinner. You get to hold hands and fight and watch each other grow. You don't have to worry about plane tickets, and phone bills, and planing life around the few weeks out of the year when you get to spend the time together. Remember you are blessed you get to sit on your smart phones across from each other and let your toes play footsie. Remember getting to go out to a movie and then go home together afterward is among the simplest of joys. Don't forget it in the chaos of our day to days. You get to deal with dirty laundry and the simplicity of breakfast. That, to me, is beautiful.
I find that relationships aren't about the fireworks or the five star hotels. Sure those are nice, but the things that last are the simplest things. They are the words spoken in honesty, they are the almost unnoticeable moments of feeling understood; a hand placed with tenderness on the small of your back, a note left on the breakfast table. They are the phone calls, however mundane, the plans for a simple meal, they are the three words echoed before you go to sleep at night.
Those moments are what our grandparents turned into life times and although they seem so small. I know that it is those moments that I look back upon with the tenderest of eyes.
Real, realtime, relationships are a beautiful thing.
Funny, I had such compassion for my ex last year around this time because his new girlfriend was in England. The wonderful fellow I was dating at the time, was just one time zone away. I could hardly imagine the eight hour difference my ex had to suffer. But now, here I am a year later, preparing for a month of almost non existant contact while the man I love is in Europe.
My goodness, life is fickle and ironic, sometimes.
Tonight, I drove myself the 9 miles to the grocery store; my dog wiggled and wagged in the back seat. The sky meandered with frozen elegance in all it's nighttime shadows past my cracked windshield as I listened to the static on the radio. I bought broccoli, and blue berries and a big bag of oranges and then I drove home, careful of the many deer, grazing in the grass on the side of the moonlit road, and listening to the local country station, the twang and melody pouring out my busted speakers talking of just one thing: love.
I consider myself blessed, blessed that I have someone to pine for, blessed that I have wheels to go on impromptue grocery shopping trips. Blessed I have money in the bank to feed myself off of. Blessed that I have friends in all corners of the united states and that when I post on facebook, that I'm hankering for some company and a cup of tea, I may not get someone who can come over, but I do get 17 comments from friends sending me love and inviting me to come and see them and sleep on their floors. I consider myself lucky in this.
So tonight, I am going to steam myself some broccoli and cuddle with my dog and drink a hot cup of tea (perhaps with a splash of honey whiskey) and watch my redbox film.
Tonight I embrace the fact that I am quite alone. Because I know I won't always be, and the things that we sometimes feel are the biggest of problems are just things in life that are teaching us about ourselves. I miss cuddling and I miss the friends that aren't active in my life any longer. But I am grateful that I have a heart that still loves them and a mind that understands and a life, that as complicated and unruly as it looks, is perfectly perfect tonight.
I place my trust in the grace of life. I fling my wool clad arms to the frozen sky. I let the silence teach me things. I hold my memories close, but I always allow room for the future to sweep in and take me to new places and new faces and new dreams. Things can be ridiculously hard sometimes, but that doesn't mean their not worth it.
So I love blues, and I love blues people, which means pretty much the people I am most interested in dating are of the blues persuasion. This also means that the chances of them living in easy distance is, um, well, slim to non. So this means that dating commences over facebook chats and text messages and phone calls. Skype dates for when your feeling fancy, but those only happen when I go to the library, since my internet at home is too slow to produce anything more than just a few blurry pixels. Talk about a romantic conversation when the probability of it being overheard by the majority of my town, is so very high. Oh, baby, that's hot. Haha. But I have accepted this fact of my life, that while I live in rural Colorado it is unlikely that my boyfriend will do the same.
So can I just say, you are so lucky. Yes you, sitting at home, reading this and worrying about who's gonna take the dog out to pee in the middle of the night. Again.
You get to cuddle, and spend time together, and go out to dinner. You get to hold hands and fight and watch each other grow. You don't have to worry about plane tickets, and phone bills, and planing life around the few weeks out of the year when you get to spend the time together. Remember you are blessed you get to sit on your smart phones across from each other and let your toes play footsie. Remember getting to go out to a movie and then go home together afterward is among the simplest of joys. Don't forget it in the chaos of our day to days. You get to deal with dirty laundry and the simplicity of breakfast. That, to me, is beautiful.
I find that relationships aren't about the fireworks or the five star hotels. Sure those are nice, but the things that last are the simplest things. They are the words spoken in honesty, they are the almost unnoticeable moments of feeling understood; a hand placed with tenderness on the small of your back, a note left on the breakfast table. They are the phone calls, however mundane, the plans for a simple meal, they are the three words echoed before you go to sleep at night.
Those moments are what our grandparents turned into life times and although they seem so small. I know that it is those moments that I look back upon with the tenderest of eyes.
Real, realtime, relationships are a beautiful thing.
Funny, I had such compassion for my ex last year around this time because his new girlfriend was in England. The wonderful fellow I was dating at the time, was just one time zone away. I could hardly imagine the eight hour difference my ex had to suffer. But now, here I am a year later, preparing for a month of almost non existant contact while the man I love is in Europe.
My goodness, life is fickle and ironic, sometimes.
Tonight, I drove myself the 9 miles to the grocery store; my dog wiggled and wagged in the back seat. The sky meandered with frozen elegance in all it's nighttime shadows past my cracked windshield as I listened to the static on the radio. I bought broccoli, and blue berries and a big bag of oranges and then I drove home, careful of the many deer, grazing in the grass on the side of the moonlit road, and listening to the local country station, the twang and melody pouring out my busted speakers talking of just one thing: love.
I consider myself blessed, blessed that I have someone to pine for, blessed that I have wheels to go on impromptue grocery shopping trips. Blessed I have money in the bank to feed myself off of. Blessed that I have friends in all corners of the united states and that when I post on facebook, that I'm hankering for some company and a cup of tea, I may not get someone who can come over, but I do get 17 comments from friends sending me love and inviting me to come and see them and sleep on their floors. I consider myself lucky in this.
So tonight, I am going to steam myself some broccoli and cuddle with my dog and drink a hot cup of tea (perhaps with a splash of honey whiskey) and watch my redbox film.
Tonight I embrace the fact that I am quite alone. Because I know I won't always be, and the things that we sometimes feel are the biggest of problems are just things in life that are teaching us about ourselves. I miss cuddling and I miss the friends that aren't active in my life any longer. But I am grateful that I have a heart that still loves them and a mind that understands and a life, that as complicated and unruly as it looks, is perfectly perfect tonight.
I place my trust in the grace of life. I fling my wool clad arms to the frozen sky. I let the silence teach me things. I hold my memories close, but I always allow room for the future to sweep in and take me to new places and new faces and new dreams. Things can be ridiculously hard sometimes, but that doesn't mean their not worth it.
