Northwest Blues, Adventures- purple and red
I am happy to be flawed.
Naive, and living with everything I have.
I won't always get it right. I won't always even try.
Somedays the bad outweighs the good and I simply have to run, or laugh or cry.
But I feel blessed to live.
These past few weeks have taken me on an adventure. My soon to be roommate Erica and I found a carpool out to Bellingham, WA for the Northwest Blues Recess; a blues dancing weekend. It changed my life in so many ways.
Just dancing for upwards of three days is like spiritual healing for me, let alone the beauty of the people, the smiles and connections with new friends, good dances, listening to my own heart, love, and the beauty of the location we were in.. a rock quarry turned circus commune.
I hadn't thought I would even be able to go, I didn't have the money or the time or a ride or a ticket.. so I told God that if I was supposed to go, for him to make it happen. And he did. In the most miraculous ways, he did.
I don't even feel like I deserve to be so blessed, some days! But when I question it, I get that if I just keep doing the work, keep listening with my heart, keep doing and loving and feeling and living (and dancing)! than God wants all the miracles in the world for me.. I think he wants them for everyone, it's just when we allow him to bless us.
The blues recess changed me, as they always do, I was humbled and inspired and I felt celebrated for being the woman I am, the undiluted, passionate and quiet girl, who loves to dance more than anything, else in this world.
I met some people who blessed me and challenged me, and people I know I was meant to meet. I fell in love, not really the -lots-of-sex-and-babies- kind but the kind that binds souls together, in delight, depth and inspiration. In friends.
Sunday night (the last night of the event) was probably the best night of my life. I danced literally all night, and when the music had finally stopped and the sky was pale and husky outside, I curled up next to twenty dancers, cuddled on the floor and talked for an hour, before, rising up again and helping to dismantle the sound systems that had been left outside before it started to rain.
Before breakfast there was a mermaid swim, Erica and I, stripped of our clothing and free to dive into the clear deep water from the rocky cliffs and then float, alone, watching the sky change and the rain begin to come.
After this it is a blurry memory of tears and goodbyes and see you soons and packing up, before the rain and then a giant circle of the very last, speaking with open hearts about the magic found and created in this wonderful, wonderful weekend.
After this our carpool situation got a little messy, the woman who we caught a ride with decided she needed one more night in Bellingham before we headed back to Colorado, but Erica and I had no place to sleep, our tent being forgotten in Colorado and the whole weekend having borrowed one from a friend who had already left. I was feeling pretty decidedly tired, not having slept a wink the night before, but one of our dancer friends, Jae, decided to rescue us; piled us (6 people into a Nissan altima, as well as all our gear) and headed for.. somewhere.
We ended up deciding on Portland, our carpool was driving through portland on the way home anyway, so she was willing to pick us up there, and being squashed in the car with awesome dancers for a few more hours sounded like fun to us.
Of course we didn't make it to Portland that night, the car broke down on the side of I-5 just outside of Seattle.
I love dancers.
I loved breaking down with these dancers. We were literally dancing on the side of the freeway, making our own music, laughing, in the headlights of oncoming traffic, in the rain, waiting for the tow truck. and then friends that came and rescued us and took us back to their house.. which happened to be a block and a bridge across the free way away from my old apartment, that I had been craving to see.
It was magic, in my delusional state, walking around the streets I used to tread when I lived there with my boyfriend and my border collie, Fly; nearly two years ago now. Walking with my new friends, I felt so much freer. Where life is taking me now, is so much more where I have always known I need to be going. I felt so much life inside me.
The next morning, will not transcribe to paper very well.
It was epic awesomeness.
Another dancer friend, Ted, who used to live in Seattle offered a tour for us and when we heartily excepted and came out on the street in the weak morning sun a red BMW convertible awaited us.
There was 7 people.
It was awesome.
Four in the backseat and I sat on Jae's lap in the front and away we went, screaming down the side streets and along the water, down past the best view of the city and only stopping for a moment by the troll, by the park, by the best espresso in the city. Smiles were worn with delight and Jae and I kept pinching each other to see if this felicity could possibly be real. We finally disembarked, at a chocolate shop, and as our tour guide sped off to meet with friends we ordered thick hot chocolate and sipped in bliss. Next we were scooped up by another dancer friend and escorted to Green Lake, where dancing in my delusional state of exhaustion and happiness on the dock, I slipped and fell, crack, right on my head. I layed there for a while, a good hour, with my friends happily attending me, putting cold water on my bruised and swelling face and holding my hand. It was heaven, even in pain, it was heaven.
After this it was more blur.. as we found a car and drove to Portland, went to goodwill and shopped for something clean to wear to dancing that night, and then we danced till 1am and then hit the mattresses we slept on as if they were heaven. We slept in a big puddle of cuddleness. The only way to sleep.
Of course our carpool ride, called the next day to say she was having the hardest time saying goodbye to her son in Seattle and that she needed, just one more day, and that we would leave the next morning, although we had millions of boxes to pack and things to do at home, we couldn't say we were un happy to stay another night with our delightful and sweet new friends.
Repeat above sentence three more times as our carpool kept not leaving Seattle and we kept living happily in Portland.
I love Portland. I want to move there, I will move there. Perhaps in the spring, or next summer, we'll see where life takes me in these next few months and which journeys I am taken for. But one thing is for certain. I will live in Portland, at some point of my life.
I have been taken captive in the heart of my own. In my desert I am painted, and in his arms, I am my own home.
So this is the synopsis of my latest adventure.. Love has found me in so many new and different and familiar ways. I am so happy. and I have many more boxes to pack so I bid you adue. till next time.
xoxo happy-exhausted dancer
Naive, and living with everything I have.
I won't always get it right. I won't always even try.
Somedays the bad outweighs the good and I simply have to run, or laugh or cry.
But I feel blessed to live.
These past few weeks have taken me on an adventure. My soon to be roommate Erica and I found a carpool out to Bellingham, WA for the Northwest Blues Recess; a blues dancing weekend. It changed my life in so many ways.
Just dancing for upwards of three days is like spiritual healing for me, let alone the beauty of the people, the smiles and connections with new friends, good dances, listening to my own heart, love, and the beauty of the location we were in.. a rock quarry turned circus commune.
I hadn't thought I would even be able to go, I didn't have the money or the time or a ride or a ticket.. so I told God that if I was supposed to go, for him to make it happen. And he did. In the most miraculous ways, he did.
I don't even feel like I deserve to be so blessed, some days! But when I question it, I get that if I just keep doing the work, keep listening with my heart, keep doing and loving and feeling and living (and dancing)! than God wants all the miracles in the world for me.. I think he wants them for everyone, it's just when we allow him to bless us.
The blues recess changed me, as they always do, I was humbled and inspired and I felt celebrated for being the woman I am, the undiluted, passionate and quiet girl, who loves to dance more than anything, else in this world.
I met some people who blessed me and challenged me, and people I know I was meant to meet. I fell in love, not really the -lots-of-sex-and-babies- kind but the kind that binds souls together, in delight, depth and inspiration. In friends.
Sunday night (the last night of the event) was probably the best night of my life. I danced literally all night, and when the music had finally stopped and the sky was pale and husky outside, I curled up next to twenty dancers, cuddled on the floor and talked for an hour, before, rising up again and helping to dismantle the sound systems that had been left outside before it started to rain.
Before breakfast there was a mermaid swim, Erica and I, stripped of our clothing and free to dive into the clear deep water from the rocky cliffs and then float, alone, watching the sky change and the rain begin to come.
After this it is a blurry memory of tears and goodbyes and see you soons and packing up, before the rain and then a giant circle of the very last, speaking with open hearts about the magic found and created in this wonderful, wonderful weekend.
After this our carpool situation got a little messy, the woman who we caught a ride with decided she needed one more night in Bellingham before we headed back to Colorado, but Erica and I had no place to sleep, our tent being forgotten in Colorado and the whole weekend having borrowed one from a friend who had already left. I was feeling pretty decidedly tired, not having slept a wink the night before, but one of our dancer friends, Jae, decided to rescue us; piled us (6 people into a Nissan altima, as well as all our gear) and headed for.. somewhere.
We ended up deciding on Portland, our carpool was driving through portland on the way home anyway, so she was willing to pick us up there, and being squashed in the car with awesome dancers for a few more hours sounded like fun to us.
Of course we didn't make it to Portland that night, the car broke down on the side of I-5 just outside of Seattle.
I love dancers.
I loved breaking down with these dancers. We were literally dancing on the side of the freeway, making our own music, laughing, in the headlights of oncoming traffic, in the rain, waiting for the tow truck. and then friends that came and rescued us and took us back to their house.. which happened to be a block and a bridge across the free way away from my old apartment, that I had been craving to see.
It was magic, in my delusional state, walking around the streets I used to tread when I lived there with my boyfriend and my border collie, Fly; nearly two years ago now. Walking with my new friends, I felt so much freer. Where life is taking me now, is so much more where I have always known I need to be going. I felt so much life inside me.
The next morning, will not transcribe to paper very well.
It was epic awesomeness.
Another dancer friend, Ted, who used to live in Seattle offered a tour for us and when we heartily excepted and came out on the street in the weak morning sun a red BMW convertible awaited us.
There was 7 people.
It was awesome.
Four in the backseat and I sat on Jae's lap in the front and away we went, screaming down the side streets and along the water, down past the best view of the city and only stopping for a moment by the troll, by the park, by the best espresso in the city. Smiles were worn with delight and Jae and I kept pinching each other to see if this felicity could possibly be real. We finally disembarked, at a chocolate shop, and as our tour guide sped off to meet with friends we ordered thick hot chocolate and sipped in bliss. Next we were scooped up by another dancer friend and escorted to Green Lake, where dancing in my delusional state of exhaustion and happiness on the dock, I slipped and fell, crack, right on my head. I layed there for a while, a good hour, with my friends happily attending me, putting cold water on my bruised and swelling face and holding my hand. It was heaven, even in pain, it was heaven.
After this it was more blur.. as we found a car and drove to Portland, went to goodwill and shopped for something clean to wear to dancing that night, and then we danced till 1am and then hit the mattresses we slept on as if they were heaven. We slept in a big puddle of cuddleness. The only way to sleep.
Of course our carpool ride, called the next day to say she was having the hardest time saying goodbye to her son in Seattle and that she needed, just one more day, and that we would leave the next morning, although we had millions of boxes to pack and things to do at home, we couldn't say we were un happy to stay another night with our delightful and sweet new friends.
Repeat above sentence three more times as our carpool kept not leaving Seattle and we kept living happily in Portland.
I love Portland. I want to move there, I will move there. Perhaps in the spring, or next summer, we'll see where life takes me in these next few months and which journeys I am taken for. But one thing is for certain. I will live in Portland, at some point of my life.
I have been taken captive in the heart of my own. In my desert I am painted, and in his arms, I am my own home.
So this is the synopsis of my latest adventure.. Love has found me in so many new and different and familiar ways. I am so happy. and I have many more boxes to pack so I bid you adue. till next time.
xoxo happy-exhausted dancer
