Morning shall come
It still aches. And it's okay. I know it will, for a really long time, the longing in me and the love I carry in my heart for him, shall always last. But I know this pain makes me fuller somehow, makes me understand human life a little more, makes my sorrow a little deeper, and therefore able to hold that much more joy.
In the wee hours of the morning I find solace in the comfort of this knowledge.
In this rosy, war torn, beautiful and sometimes savage world, it always seems like appearing to stay happy is what gives you straight A's. But can you imagine, what the world would be like, when everyone isn't afraid to show how they really feel? Who they really are, beyond the slippery surface of our mirror encrusted outsides.
I try and live like that.
I don't succeed, everyday. But every truth that spills from my lips is a step closer to living in my depth.
I am not afraid to be whole.
I am not afraid to speak my mind, although I am still fearful of the people I give a slice of my truth to, I am afraid of what they will do with it.
I am not afraid to live out loud, although some days, it's just a whisper.
-------------------------------------------------
Someday:
The sun is just coming up, the light striking the uppermost branches of the Eucalyptus trees, we are camped under, I lay in my sleeping bag, looking up, watching the light dance across the bark, the leaves, the sun golden in that pale, new day sort of way. I can hear the ocean, it's gentle breathing, having kept me company all night long, my steady sleeping partner, cuddling me into the dawn.
And I am quiet, in my heart, I am still, content. Listening and feeling the grace of this new day breaking over me.
Knowing that the long night is over, although I'll miss the stars, but knowing that I have the day upon me now.
In the wee hours of the morning I find solace in the comfort of this knowledge.
In this rosy, war torn, beautiful and sometimes savage world, it always seems like appearing to stay happy is what gives you straight A's. But can you imagine, what the world would be like, when everyone isn't afraid to show how they really feel? Who they really are, beyond the slippery surface of our mirror encrusted outsides.
I try and live like that.
I don't succeed, everyday. But every truth that spills from my lips is a step closer to living in my depth.
I am not afraid to be whole.
I am not afraid to speak my mind, although I am still fearful of the people I give a slice of my truth to, I am afraid of what they will do with it.
I am not afraid to live out loud, although some days, it's just a whisper.
-------------------------------------------------
Someday:
The sun is just coming up, the light striking the uppermost branches of the Eucalyptus trees, we are camped under, I lay in my sleeping bag, looking up, watching the light dance across the bark, the leaves, the sun golden in that pale, new day sort of way. I can hear the ocean, it's gentle breathing, having kept me company all night long, my steady sleeping partner, cuddling me into the dawn.
And I am quiet, in my heart, I am still, content. Listening and feeling the grace of this new day breaking over me.
Knowing that the long night is over, although I'll miss the stars, but knowing that I have the day upon me now.
